018. What bruises do you have from self-employment?
Every issue of Moment comes with a question designed to gently nudge you towards working well: making your mental health part of your self-employed business plan.
018. What bruises do you have from self-employment?
I fell down the stairs this week.
I slipped, landed on my butt, and bounced down the stairs.
It was pretty embarrassing, naturally.
My children immediately checked to see if I was alright after they’d heard a loud thud thud bump, and I lied to them and said I’d just dropped something down the stairs (which I guess was technically true). I told them the following morning, mostly because I was so in pain, I wasn’t able to sit down. They were loving and caring and checking on my for the day, which eventually turned into joking about how I’d broken my bum.
Whilst I can’t see if it is bruised, the pain is still very much there, and I’ve found myself being overly cautious now when going down the stairs. Each step is a little bit more carefully placed, and I hold on to the handrail a little more tightly.
It made me think about what other bruises, perhaps those which have faded, I have from self-employment. What experiences have I had that make me approach projects a little more gingerly, or do I shy away from, because of a previous bump?
There’s no learning experience from falling down the stairs - there was no fault or blame, I didn’t do anything wrong, it was just an accident, a misplaced foot. Yet, my behaviours have changed because of it.
Likewise, there are plenty of experiences in self-employment which leave a lasting impact upon us - which aren’t through any fault of our own, yet leave a mark when considering the next project. Some very much are opportunities to learn and grow, and recognise when red flags or signs of concern are apparent. Some were simply a pain in the butt.
Reflecting on the projects we’ve recently completed, it’s important to identify whether any of the things which didn’t go so well were inside or outside of our control. Giving ourselves a hard time over projects where something didn’t quite work but it really wasn’t in our ability to affect things can take up so much energy, and can distract us from things where there’s opportunity to do great work elsewhere.
So take this week’s Moment to ask, those bruises you’ve had from recent projects, how many of them were just a foot slipping, rather than something that demands you ‘fix things’ for next time?
WORKING WELLBEING PLAN: TASK
Create a habit of running a debrief at the end of each project to ask three questions:
What went well?
What could have gone better?
What would I do differently next time?
For the things which went wrong - include two columns: one list of things which were in your control, and another list of things that are outside of your control.
Consider asking your client the same questions - they might not have the same responses, and it can help you focus on which concerns do (or don’t) need addressing.
Leave a comment below to share your reflections,
or visit Leapers to discuss the question further.
Things we read this week:
How COVID has affected our mental health - from the team at ZOE
This talk isn’t very good - TEDX talk on the inner critic
Pay attention to these early warning signs of burnout
Kristen Bell on Living with Depression and Anxiety
ps.
The Film and TV Charity is conducting a new study on mental health and wellbeing in the film and TV industry. Their previous groundbreaking study led to genuine positive impact and change - so please, if you’re in this sector, add your voice, or forward to a friend who is. Take part here.